Oh my goodness I found this old email between one of my bestest buds and me filed away and I laughed so hard. Oh the good old days of being bored to death at work. It's a good thing I don't have time to be bored anymore! Or is it....? (newest on top)
Dear
Sneezy,
If
I do get to take classes I'm totally not excited for them, lol. I'll be
taking a Computer Applications course and a Technical Writing course. I
won't get to the good stuff until the next term.
OMG,
we need to vacation!!! I would be down to go to Mexico as a cheap
alternative! We could apply our scuba certification there! I really
want to go to Mazatlan!
Love,
Snow
White
Dear King of the J,
They’re crossed! It would be so good for you to get back
in school!
Oh gosh I want to say yes to both! I need to start
applying to those jobs you sent me so I can make more money. This $10/hr
crap ain’t cutting it. My answer: I don’t know. I want to! I
shouldn’t. But I want to!
You have to make me have fun tonight. I need it.
Love,
Sneezy
Dear
G w/ E,
She
might, but only for two classes. Cross your fingers!
I
really want to go. Want to go to Ireland with me? I have this guy
Mick there that I talk with on the regular. He's near Dublin, so
he'd show me the ropes. But if you go he'd better not like you or I'll
cry. You're just so hot! : )
Would
you possibly go to Mexico if I went there instead?
Love,
Lynzi
the Lion
Dear Nancy,
Oh is your mom gonna finance it? Gee that’s soon!
(I think I like the cock one better). Two classes in better than
none, so I say go for it!
Hmm…well, I guess that’s something to look into.
Seriously?! I hate you. I wish I was brave enough to travel to
another country all alone. It’s cool you have friends all over the world
now! I want those.
Love,
Green With Envy
Dear
You,
I
might start next week if I can convince my Mom. The clock is ticking (I
originally typed the cock is ticking...lol). We'll see! I'll only
take two classes though.
I
thought the job started much earlier. I thought they needed people to
start right away! Now I'm not sure. If it doesn't start soon I may
just look for part-time employment elsewhere. I want to travel!
(Oh, and I am a bad influence, but now we're just pointing out the
obvious.) If I do go this summer I may very well be going alone since I
assume you won't go, and I know Rachel won't. I think it would be neat
traveling in a foreign country alone though. Besides, I do have a
few friends there nowadays. Some I met while they were vacationing in
Sydney, and some I've met online.
Love,
Idealistic,
Nonsensical Nancy
Dear Lynzi,
I think Arapahoe is really good at night classes. When are
you looking to start?
OK! I won’t say no to reading a good book.
Never! (Never say no, I mean)
Doesn’t the Census job start next year? Ireland!
Dude! Stop being a bad influence! My credit card is through the
roof already!
No, I don’t know how much it is, but it’s something we really
should look into!
Love,
Me
Dear
Kira,
Well,
I'd get my Associate Degree and then transfer for my Bachelor's, but it really
all depends on how many classes I take a term. We'll see. The
biggest problem will be finding classes that fit in my schedule and still allow
me to work full-time.
I
know! We totally never did that. I still think you should read my
book first though since you never got to read it. You'll love it!
So,
I'm thinking that if I get this Census Bureau job I may try to save enough
money to go on a trip this summer as well. I really want to go to
Ireland, and for some reason it's been calling me lately. I think about
going ALL THE TIME. If I did that I'd hit two more countries in one
year! Woo hoo! If not I could always go to Mexico. : )
Do
you know how much it is to get Scuba certified? If you do want to go to
Bali we should definitely do that before then.
Love,
Tired
of Looking-up Movie Starlets
Dear Betty,
I know I’m so excited! How long are the programs you’re
looking into? Depending on what you want to do with them, I don’t think
it should take you THAT long! I think the most important part about
interior design and/or wedding planning is intuition (which you already have)
and learning the business. I don’t think you really need to go through
years of education to succeed at either field.
At least you admit to your cruelty. I like that.
Oh I forgot! Weren’t we supposed to start reading all the
books we read in high school? Man that was forever ago that we decided
that and then never started! Silly girls are we.
You know what else we forgot? Scuba diving! I still
want to.
Love,
Kira the Gelfling
Dear
Cathy,
I
can't believe you're graduating! It's going to be a century before I'm
done with school. You're going to leave me in the dust. You'll
graduate and get some high paying job and I'll be alone with miles of years of
school ahead.
Awful
and cruel? Me? Alright, I agree.
I'm
so jealous you'll get to read! I really want to read The Odyssey
again! You know what you should put on your list ahead of those other
books? The Once and Future King! I swear you'll love it!
Love,
Betty
Grable
Dear Little Bow Wow,
Yes! It does make sense! OMG I’m gonna be an aunt! I
don’t know when, but it’s gonna happen.
Because you’re awful mean and cruel? Don’t you know that?
“Tell me something good! (bow bow) Tell me that you like me,
yeah…!” Aww I love Chaka Kahn.
OK So I can’t wait to graduate so I can READ! First on my
list are Crime and Punishment, East of Eden, and Girl with a Pearl
Earring. YAY!
Love,
Cathy Ames
Dear
Soviet Union,
I
don't know what my issue is...I'm tired and anxious at the same time.
Does that make sense? Probably not. Can I please be dismissed now?
Why
would I make you bowl with a heavy ball?
Tell
me something good!
Love,
Clara
Bow
Dear Lizzie,
You are the biggest dork I know! Ha ha you can’t seem to
send a message all in one today, huh?
True, they did sing their parts and they sang them well! I
love musicals. I want to have a musical marathon.
Ow ow! You have to make me use a light ball, though
OK? Bowling tends to really hurt my wrists.
I’m tired, too! I stayed up much too late because of My
Fair Lady. Grr!
Love,
Sofia (Sonya) Semyonova Marmeladova
Shoot!
Love,
Elizabeth
Taylor
Dear Vivien,
You can’t be the same person I was! Ha ha, yes I got that
before. I just meant that she looks like Mellie. I looked her up on
IMDB and I’m so right! She was! Don’t you remember her?
You grow up seeing these women performing and you assume that
it’s really THEM! It’s awful.
Sure, I’ll come tonight. Remember I’m following you?
I realized why I have to go home after work. I have to pick up my pills!
Love,
Melanie Hamilton
Dear
____________,
No,
she's not from Gone With the Wind. Didn't you get my gone with the wind
thing before? You signed as Scarlett O'Hara and I addressed you as Vivien
Leigh?
That's
dreadful. I'd believe it about Audrey, she wasn't much of a singer, and
I'd even believe it for Natalie Wood, but Deborah Kerr? She could sing
darn it! Ugh.
Does
that mean you're coming tonight? It's at the Brunswick next to Park
Meadows.
Love,
Vivien
Leigh
OH I see now! Love ya Olivia! (Is she from Gone With the
Wind?)
Dear
Miss Disappointed,
OMG!
No! I refuse to believe it. That can't be right...that man is a
big, fat liar! I need hardcore evidence. Give me a document proving
it and whomever actually sang it!
How
are you this fine morning? Feeling better?
Love,
Olivia
De Havilland
P.S.
I got a little ahead of myself and sent my email before I was done, lol.
Dear Ally,
My life is over! I came home to find my mom watching My
Fair Lady on TMC. At the end when that old guy talked about the film, he
stripped away my belief system. Not only was Audrey’s singing dubbed in
My Fair Lady, but so was Natalie Wood’s in West Side Story AND Deborah Kerr’s
in the King and I! How dare they build me up just to make me come
crashing down again.
Sadly,
Disappointed
Dear
Vivien Leigh,
You'll
think of one someday. I'm sure I could think of a ton more as well if I
tried!
Don't
leave! Well, I guess you can just start a new conversation
tomorrow!
Bye!
Love,
June
Allyson
Dear Barbie,
I will totally do that. I wish I had a message to tell my
boyfriends, but I can think of none!
I will try to look into it. School’s keeping me pretty
busy at the moment though so I’m hardly ever online except at work and I don’t
think they’d like me getting onto Netflixs.
Ah! Now that you say that I do recognize them!
Yay! I know people!
I’ll be leaving soon so if I don’t answer you, that’s why!
Love,
Scarlett O’Hara
Death
Cathy,
Yes,
please keep all my boyfriends informed from now on that things such as
surprises must never catch me off guard in the sense that I always have to look
fabulous whilst surprised. : )
Hmmm...no,
I said Rachel had the trailer. You should look into it and tell me what
you find!
Deborah
Kerr is from The King and
I, and Donna Reed is from It's
a Wonderful Life. See? You totally know these people,
although you may not know the next one. I picked two people I thought
you'd know on purpose!
Love,
Barbara
Bel Geddes
Dear Lovely Lana,
Aww that means it has even more sentimental value for you!
OK we’ll be good and considerate and loyal!
Ha ha I love you. You make me giggle in the most
delightful way. Well, I’ll be sure to inform Mister Perfect this before
he pops the Q.
I don’t know. Didn’t you say Rachel had it? Do you
have Netflix? I don’t.
Oh! No, I don’t know either!
Love,
Catherine Earnshaw
Dear
Little Woman,
No
stealing, I agree whole-heatedly! I would never forgive you for stealing
Aubree, especially since that's what my Mom was going to name my little sister
before she miscarried.
I'm
too controlling for surprises. They really do anger me most of the
time. I hope he understand what he could be getting himself into.
The only time I want to be surprised is with a marriage proposal, and whomever
it is had better make sure I somehow know I need to look like a million
dollars that day and have a camera close by.
How
do we even go about getting this movie?
You
never answered me about Deborah Kerr, and do you know who Donna Reed is?
Love,
Lana
Turner
Dear Big D,
Ahh! No stealing names from each other OK? My
sister’s friend still hasn’t forgiven her for stealing Lorenzo. I love
Aubree Rose! So pretty. For a boy…I have generic names that I
always have liked. Ryan, Kyle, and Jessie. Those have always been
my three boys names and they probably always will be!
Ha ha I still like them. They involve no decision making
on my part!
Let’s do it! Ha ha I really am curious to know if we’re
even in it at all!
Love,
Josephine March
P.S. This time I said to download the external content.
We’ll see how this one works!
Dear
M.D.,
I
like that too! Ahhh! What about for a boy? I only have one
name for a boy...Lysander. I don't know I'd spell it though. How
about you? I'm really fond of Aubree as of late. I think I'd do
Aubree Rose. What do you think?
Ha
ha, see? Surprises blow!
You're
so right. We would watch the movie, die of embarrassment, and then buy
every other copy and burn it so no one else can ever see it again. How's
that? Lol.
Love,
Donna
Reed
P.S.
You don't know who Deborah Kerr is? I thought you'd get her for sure!
Dear Ms Kerr,
I don’t know…I’ve recently decided I love the name Eden.
The only one of your I’m not crazy about it Madeline. I like the other
ones!
I remember when James intended a picnic. Then his family
ate the food…
I can see it’s bright I love it! I just wish my office
wasn’t always so cold!
I do! Just to see…but I don’t want anyone else to see
it! I say we find it, watch it, never tell a soul, and then not mention
it again.
Love,
Marianne Dashwood
Dear
Jane,
Ah,
I don't think it's so bad. It's unique! Lol. Speaking of
names, what are your top four names for a little girl. Mine are Aubree,
Adelaide, Madeline, and Odette.
The
date is Wednesday night. I'm just crossing my fingers he doesn't try a
picnic or any cooking since I'm so picky.
It's
windy again, but it's a bright and shiny, relatively warm day.
No!
I don't want to see it though; I know I'll be embarrassed to death.
Love,
Deborah
Kerr
Dear Greer,
Gosh I’d hate to have the name Greer!
Have you ever seen, read, or heard of Anne of Green
Gables? All your Anne with an e’s reminded me of her.
Ha ha that’s a good plan! When is this date?
Is it? I haven’t been out since 7:45.
Hey did you ever figure out how to see that movie we were extras
in?
Love,
Jane Eyre
Dear
Anne,
Who
is Anne Shirley? You stumped me.
I
feel badly though because he's insisting that it's going to be so
fantastic. I think I'll just leave it be, and if it goes badly I'll say
"I told you so" and it will be my excuse to not go on a third
date. : )
They
haven't, no ma'm. That's why we have to strike while the iron is hot!
It's
so nice out! I hate, hate, HATE being inside.
Love,
Greer
Garson
Dear Anne,
I do remember! I do!
I love surprises! Their my favorite. Then why don’t
you tell him you refuse to go on a date if it’s a surprise. Un say
yes. I’m sure it’ll at least make him tell you.
They haven’t announced it publicly yet?
Love,
Anne (with an e) Shirley
Dear
Miss You Wish You Were Mrs. Kent,
It's
from that Anberlin song that drives me so crazy because "conversate"
isn't a word. Remember?
I
know, I know, I know...but now it's too late. On top of that, whatever
we're doing on the date is a surprise. I hate surprises. Loathe
them entirely. I can only think of twice I've enjoyed surprises.
One was Valentine's Day with Bill, which was only OK because we'd been together
so long. The other was my going away party, which that even irritated me
because 1) I had to uninvite you to Tanner's performance and 2) I didn't know
so I looked like shitake! Ugh. He doesn't understand, and I can't
make him understand. They almost always irritate me tens time more than
make me happy. I hate the unknown, and I hate being caught off
guard.
I
haven't applied yet, but we really need to call this week. Do it on a
break today or tomorrow. Once they announce it publicly there will be
massive competition, so we want to snag a job before that happens.
Love,
Anne
Miller
Dear Ms Weld,
That reference seems familiar, but it’s not coming. What
is it to?
Dang it! I swear crooked pictures have been haunting me
lately!
I told you, you can’t force yourself! I just went through
this, love, so I totally get it. You’ll be psycho and there’s no way out!
Oh I keep forgetting about applying for jobs. I’ve been so
busy lately! Did you apply?
Love,
Lois Lane
Dear
Holly Goleightly, Sabrina, and/or Princess Ann,
I
thought you might know her. I'm just putting the first ones that come to
my head. There will be more obvious ones soon, I'm sure of it.
That
was a irrelevant, but good for conversation sake since I seem to be lacking the
ability to conversate (lol) today. (Did you get that reference? No,
I'm not crazy like you. : )
I'm
really the crazy one. I think I may be the most ambivalent person in the
world as of late. Earlier I was feeling really ambitious, like dating
would be a good idea. I told CJ yes on a second date and felt very
confident that I wanted to go, and as soon as I got in my car to go to lunch I
started thinking about Chris and actually cried. I'm a bit psycho I
think, just a bit. OK, a lot psycho.
Did
you decide whether or not you wanted to apply for the Census Bureau job?
Love,
Tuesday
Weld
P.S.
My Dad says hello. "You say yes, I say no. You say why?
I say I don't know. You say goodbye, I say hello." : )
Dear Grace,
You finally picked a name I knew! I felt like a
nerd. The desks here have glass tops and they moved my desk and the glass
was kind of off so we were trying to fix it. When it was finally stable
my boss told me to jump on it (kidding, of course). I was going to ask
him if he’d ever seen Sabrina, but he stopped listening…I don’t know how that’s
relevant, but hey.
I took Airborne yesterday. Today I’m taking Zicam.
We’ll see.
New topic…let us discuss the nature of crooked pictures.
When’s the last time you saw one and can you resist the urge to fix it?
Even if it’s in a restaurant or somewhere like that?
Love,
Audrey Hepburn
Dear
Vanilla,
He
and I are messaging right now. I told him I'd go on one more date next
week. Let's hope for the best!
You'll
feel fine! I hope you took some Airborne as soon as you started feeling
sick! If we go to a Brunswick house I may have some free games, we'll see
though. I'll text her and see.
Let's
find a new topic of interest. Any ideas?
Love,
Grace
Kelly
Dear Anne Baxter,
Yes this is weird I must admit. Yes, I did get the
photo. She’s adorable!
Well, boys suck anyway so who cares? I remember when Scott
told all the guys at school he and I did stuff and we totally never
even had so much as a peck. They’re dreamers!
I wouldn’t mind going, but I won’t know how well I’ll feel until
tomorrow comes. I hope I feel well enough! I’d very much like to
not be sick. OK, well if she tells you where she’s going let me
know. Bowling can be expensive…If I do go maybe I’ll just follow you.
Love,
Vanilla Sugar
Hmmm...that's weird. Did you get the photo? I had to attach it for some reason. It does weird things when I receive the email as junk mail.
I asked CJ about Zach and what he said, and he said that was weird because he hasn't talked to Zach about me. He said exactly what I said; that he's not even really friends with him. I wonder where that came from. Obviously it had to come from him in some way. IDK.
You should come, at least for the bowling anyway! You never go out, quit being so lame! This is the one time you can come out without it being a club or bar and you don't know if you'll want to come? Quit it! I have no idea how much it costs though because she hasn't even told me where we're going yet. I would tell you to drive there with me, but I'm staying the night and it seems like you won't want to stay. If you do want to you can drive with me though!
Love,
Anne Baxter
P.S. If you haven't seen All About Eve you definitely need to see it! Anne Baxter plays Eve and does a bang up job. Bette Davis is the other main character, and Marilyn Monroe plays a small role in what was one of her first movies. It's one of my favorites.
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