The Never-Ending Plight of Working Mothers

One of the issues that seems to consistently come up for me as a working mother is that of babysitting.  It's such a frustrating thing!

Some of the points that stick out for me are:

1. It's hard to leave your child(ren) in the care of others instead of your own, and what makes it even harder is finding help from those your feel secure about.

  












2.  It's REALLY hard to watch other people's children!  It's draining and stressful and not always a very fun job.  The number of people readily willing to consistently babysit tends to reflect this fact.



3.  Childcare often costs more than the average paycheck.  Obviously, sitters need to make a living too.  But it gets to be really difficult to afford someone who charges close to (or more than) what you make an hour!
      



4.  The correlation between a great babysitter and their lack of availability go hand-in-hand.  Once you find someone you really like, they undoubtedly will be booked before you can reach out to them.




5.  Even when you find someone to consistently watch your child, illnesses can make the situation very difficult.  Either illnesses at the sitter's house or with your child.  (Or at the backup sitter's house!)  And when Plan A doesn't work, see above to the other points when trying to work out Plan B.  Or C.  Or Z.....



6.  When illness strikes in one location or the other(s), calling-in to work can jeopardize your employment, causing a panic or desperation to ensue as you try to find other options.  Even ones you wouldn't have otherwise felt comfortable with (see point 1).


7.  You can't even always be angry with your job for having rules or expectations around calling-in.  After all, they have to function as well and many institutions cannot function effectively or safely with call-offs.



8.  When the person you find to watch your child regularly is a close friend or family member, it becomes extremely easily to unconsciously abuse the situation.  Sometimes to the detriment of your relationship or arrangement.



















9.  Once this arrangement has been jeopardized, or something else occurs to end it such as a move, change in situation for the sitter, etc, the cycle starts all over again.
 


And this is where I leave my ranting.  

I'd love to learn more about how other working moms handle the issue of childcare.  Leave your comments below!



 

The Power of Language in a Culture of Swearing

Will someone please explain to me how, why, and when the use of foul language not only became socially acceptable, but became celebrated???  Even in the professional world???

This is a question that has been on my mind for quite some time now.  It still surprises and amazes me that no matter where I go, the use of profanity has become commonplace.  There is no escaping it!  Teachers use it in classrooms, public speakers use it in presentations, doctors use it in the office, it is present in almost every movie and TV show, and the common person uses it no matter how many children are around.

I remember when I was growing up it was only amongst my peers, and maybe in some movies, that I heard such words spoken.  Now, everyday, I'm surrounded by it.

And not only surrounded by it, but again, it seems to be celebrated!  A while back I heard an acquaintance talking about how much she loved working for her boss, who owned a very successful business, by the way.  One of the reasons she gave: he would give the f-bomb to clients who made him angry.  Seriously!?!?!  I was watching a video of a very famous life coach giving a motivational speech and when he used his first swear word the audience CHEERED!!!  I attend local seminars and when someone stands up in front of the group and uses a profane word, again the entire audience applauds and laughs!  At my job (at a psych hospital) the standard is to not allow patients to use foul language and for staff to refrain from using it as well.  Do you think anyone heeds that?  Nope!  Everywhere I turn I'm surrounded by profanity coming from patients as well as my coworkers, many of whom even use it in casual conversations with patients!  When a group leader uses it in group the patients become enlivened by it.

It makes no sense to me.  I never thought I would bring my daughter up in a world where parents laugh when they hear their children swearing.  Sometimes they actually teach their children to cuss.  Or even if they don't they actively teach or encourage it, they speak that way in front of their kids so of course that is what the children learn.

I ask you, how is this acceptable?  Why has profanity become the standard language of the world?

I've seen posts online of people saying they cuss because sometimes clean language just doesn't convey the meaning they intend.  If our society can't speak in a way that conveys their meaning without the use of such words, then our educational system is more lacking than I thought.  In the vast expanse of the English language there are so many other options.  But vocabulary seems to have been a forgotten study.

I think that people have also forgotten how powerful language truly is.  There are studies done about the impact our words have on the environment, whether it's on water, a growing plant, or the human self, "good" vs "bad" language has a gigantic affect on health and well being.

Some people believe the idea that words or thoughts carry "energy".  But I do.  If they did not carry energy, how could the entire atmosphere shift based on the words used in a conversation?  On another note, why is it vulgar words abusers choose to use on their victims?

I am no less guilty than the average person of using swear words.  There was a time in my life when it was a common way to speak for me as well (although I only ever used it around friends).  But it always seemed to make me feel more negative than positive.  Instead of "letting out" the feeling of frustration, etc. it only served to strengthen them.  It's been many, many years since I spoke in such a way.  These days my language is clean and positive.  And it really makes a difference in the feelings of love, acceptance, and general positivity in myself as well as the conversations I hold.

Of course, I am fully aware that foul language is defined by culture.  It is foul and "taboo", as some might say, because somewhere, sometime it was defined as such.  Maybe the increase of the casual use of such language is an indication of a shift in culture and the redefining of such words.  But even if that is the case, it remains offensive to me and to a large percentage of people (although apparently still in the minority).

I feel sad knowing my daughter will learn that swearing is the "natural" way to speak, at least in society.  I hope the example that I set and the values that I teach her will be enough to influence her to stand separate from the crowd.  I hope to show her how powerful language is and how she can use it to be creative, intelligent, loving, and kind.  I hope that she can be an example for her peers in a world of such chaos and profanity.

 

 I hope as well that this is just a fad and will fade over time.  That maybe in the processes of becoming desensitized to vulgarity it will lose its appeal.  But either way, I will stand strong and speak in the language I know to be right.  I hope you will follow along with me.