Washed Clean

As I lay in bed listening to the rain, I am reminded of the purity that comes with being washed clean. No matter how filthy you've allowed yourself to become, it's never too much or too late to start the process of becoming clean. The more there is and the longer it's been caked on, of course the more work and time it will take to rid it all completely.

Today I was reminded of my own arrogance and pride. It's a trap I allow myself to fall into all too often. I become blinded by my own pursuit of that elusive standard of perfection and I forget to serve, love, and respect those who are faltering along with me. I forget to be a friend. I'm very much ashamed. But the rain has helped me to remember that no matter how much wrong I've done, I can always start fresh tomorrow. Maybe not as clean as I'd like, but as I strive to love and serve all I meet, the filth will slowly be scrubbed away. What a blessing to have the opportunity to start over each day! What a blessing to be able to obtain forgiveness for the hurt I've caused!

In the words of Anne of Green Gables, "Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it...yet."

Almost Midnight

Why is inspiration so hard to find these days?  I used to be able to sit down at the computer and write for hours on end.  But now I can't even think of a starting sentence.  Has my life become so mundane as to offer nothing worth sharing?  No, that can't be true.  Life with a(n) (almost) two-year old is far from mundane.  She most definitely keeps things interesting.

For example, this morning she stole the egg carton from the counter top (luckily there were no eggs inside).  Once I noticed the burglary, I pursued her.  I saw her coming out from beside the piano (a little area she likes to stand in lately) and so I decided that was the most obvious place to look.  It was lucky I did, too, because I discovered an entire array of things she had been hiding behind the piano!  My little pack rat had a stash of cookie cutters, rolling pins, measuring cups, and who knows what else back there!

She also recently learned to do somersaults all by herself.  She will randomly pose, head down, and start rolling around.  It's mostly entertaining, except when she decides to do it on the couch or on the bed or on my lap...then I usually have to act fast to catch her before she falls head first.

My response-time has sure been improving since becoming a mother.  Seriously, who knew someone so small could move so fast!  I can't tell you how many times she books it down the sidewalk.  She's so fast I often wonder if I would even be able to catch up to her if she didn't get distracted so easily! 

As it is, there is always something to catch her attention.  Usually it's a puppy, kitty, bunny, the swimming pool, a rock, or even an ant.  Being so close to the ground, tiny little bugs must be much easier to spot because she finds them EVERYWHERE!  I was relieved today when the bugs she was trying to pick up off the floor in the living room turned out to be lint.  But hey, it made her happy.

I wonder if I could make her little lint pets.  I've heard of people making sweaters out of lint.  Why not pet insects?  She's already fascinated by the material and it's easy to get your hands on.  I could make her a little lint farm, all with different colors and she could spend all day trying to figure out how to pinch them just right to pick them up.  At least she wouldn't be squishing a real ant to its death!  I can't let her get her hands on anything if I want it to have the chance to live.  She's always trying to get a hold of the snails in our garden, but their poor little shells would be shattered.

Yes, days with a toddler are most certainly anything but relaxing.  But they sure can be fun.  Sometimes I try to remember what I did before she came into my life...but I honestly can't!  Whatever it was, as exhausted, stressed, and overwhelmed I may be most of the time, but I prefer life this way than any other.  I've gained so much understanding, appreciation for everything around me, and depth of character.  And all because of a little girl with curly locks and hobbit feet who so happened to grow inside of my tummy.

I sure am lucky :-)

Superman Let-Down

Ever since I can remember I have been head-over-heels in love with Superman.  Quite literally.  From birthday parties, to Christmas ornaments, to random items found at the store...I was drawn to him like a bird to the sky.  I watched the movie continuously and fantasized of it even more often.  When I say I have an emotional relationship with the man, I am not kidding.

With that in mind, I had no idea what to expect when Superman Returns and now Man of Steel were announced.  I loved my Christopher Reeve version, but I was excited to have something new to connect with.  However, on both accounts I was tremendously disappointed.

While in Superman Returns his entire essence of character was destroyed, in Man of Steel he simply wasn't given any.  And neither was anyone else for that matter.  Man of Steel was basically a comic book come to life.  All action and nothing else.  There was nothing of substance to connect with on an emotional level.  The plot was weak and the characters even weaker.  There were some big names starring in the film who are capable of so much more than they were given to work with.  And that is just sad.  


I wanted a story.  I wanted to feel something.  Instead, all I was able to do was hold my breath in suspense as I watched 2 1/2 hours of flying figures knocking each other through buildings and causing mass destruction.

This started me thinking about all the other let-downs I have been experiencing year after year with growing frequency.  I feel that more often than not movies and books are getting through to the public with no real development of plot or character.  What has the world of story telling come to?  How can so many just ignore the elements that make a story come to life?  Is our society so focused on death and destruction that we don't even care to be fed anything else?  If that is the case, I fear what we may come to.  If a being is not fed anything of substance, no growth can take place.  Instead, we all may wither away into the growing unrest of a world focused on violence, deceit, and shallow intentions.

Forgiveness Is For YOU! Not Them....

The tension in my house has been steadily rising with each passing day.  It's always someone else's fault, of course.  And while I have been doing my best to stay out of it, I, myself, am in serious need of a good dose of humility.

I recently finished reading "The Peace Giver", by Jame L. Ferrell.  The message of forgiveness is very powerful and something I've been needing to remind myself of daily.  The basic idea is: the only thing that matters is what YOU say, YOU feel, and YOU do.  It doesn't matter how wrong, immoral, mean, bitter, or begrudging another is.  How you react creates your future, not theirs (the reverse is also true).

For example, if you feel you are constantly being attacked by another person: everything you do derives criticism, your presence seems to evoke hostility, and kind words are all but unheard of...what are you choices?  You can either assume the attitude that it's that person's fault for being negative toward you.  Or you can choose the higher road of love, forgiveness, and understanding.

That's not to say you should allow others to abuse you.  But when you also allow yourself to be clouded by hurt or anger, chances are you will both miss something important.

On the flip side of the example, if you feel you are being plagued by one who is lazy, self-centered, irresponsible, or defiant...are your choices any different?

My answer is no.  The two paths are always the same, no matter the situation.  Either blame or love.  There is really no middle ground.

In the end, it doesn't matter if another chooses to forgive you, or even to change their ways.  All that matters is that you learn to free yourself from the poison of polluted emotions.  In other words:

"The follower of Christ seeks for the nature of Christ, a nature which does more than quench anger, but rather a nature in which the is no anger.  Our task in living the gospel is not simply to become more disciplined, as commendable as that might appear to be; our task is to have our dispositions changed" (Joseph Fielding McConkie, Robert L. Millet, & Brent L. Top).

One more point I want to make comes from a book called The Compound Effect, by Darren Hardy.  We hear a true story of how what we feel and see can have a tremendous affect on our relationships with those around us.  One of Darren's friends was very unhappy in his marriage.  This man was constantly complaining about his wife to Darren.  On the other hand, Darren had a good relationship with his wife.  However, it was the season of Thanksgiving and thinking of his friend's situation gave Darren the idea to keep a gratitude journal about his wife.  Every day for an entire year Darren wrote one thing about his wife he was grateful for that day.  It could have been the way she styled her hair, a dinner she made, a simple smile or kind word.  Anything he felt the slightest bit of gratitude about counted.  Three hundred and sixty five days later, on the next Thanksgiving, Darren presented his wife with this journal.  Understandably, she was so touched it brought tears to her eyes.

However, Darren's objective in sharing this story was not to show how he had made his wife feel good.  It was to explain that the person who benefited most from the experience was him!  He had the opportunity to see his wife with new eyes.  He purposefully worked to look at her from a positive perspective, which in turn allowed him to see her clearer than he ever had before.

Consequently, Darren told his friend all about it.  His friend, the one who was miserable with his wife, decided to give it a try.  He, too, began to work to find one thing every single day he could record about his wife that he was grateful for.  Of course, it wasn't easy at first.  He had spent so much time feeling bitter, hurt, and victimized by her it was very hard to break out of the habit.  But, with practice it became easier.  And amazingly, their entire relationship improved.  By him focusing on simple, small, positive things about his bride, he began to think, feel, and act differently toward her.  That's not to say there were any obvious changes.  I'm sure it was all very subtle.  But because HE changed toward her, she (unconsciously of course) became more positive toward him.

I cannot remember if this man ever presented his wife with the journal he kept.  I cannot remember is she ever even learned of it.  But it doesn't matter.  The purpose was not to change her in any way.  The purpose was to change him.

By learning to let go of anger and negativity - not just overcome, but eliminate it - we become better people from the inside out.  And what's more...we become happier.

Yes, I know this is all easier said than done.  We will never be perfect.  We will often fall short.  But I think it's better to work hard toward becoming someone and ultimately happier than to allow the world to beat me down until I'm nothing.

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November 7, 2012

This life is full of so many wonderful things.  It breaks my heart that we don't all see it.  It's hate and hardheartedness that hold us back.  If we but learn to embrace the values that have stood timeless as the foundation of all that is good, the poison of that hate can be cured.

I believe in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  This drives every part of my being.  I believe in truth, light, love, and purity.  I believe that if you follow the word of God and do your very best, no matter what horrors exist in the mortal world, you will find peace in your heart.

What I don't believe in is greed, selfishness, or cruelty.  I don't believe any human being has the right to judge another.  We are all children of God.  We have all been made in his image.  We all stood with God before this life and chose Him.  Whatever mistakes are made or whatever differences arise, this all remains true. 

I know people are not perfect.  Not even close.  But, I do believe that people behave according to their best understanding of themselves and the world.  That understanding may not be perfect.  Indeed, it may very well be opposite of the truth.  But we all try.  And that is what's important.

I love my Savior and my Heavenly Father.  I love my family, near and far.  I love my friends, the old and the new.  I love my neighbors, those that I know and those that I don't.  I love the opportunity we all have to partake in free agency, to learn and grow, to embrace individuality.  I love that conflicts and disagreements have the potential to drive us forward.  I love the opportunities that failure presents to those who are not afraid to keep trying.

I pray that truth will be revealed in all things.  I pray that the people of this world do not turn a blind eye or deaf ear to that truth.  I pray that we all have the courage to stand up for what is right and what is good, despite the evil that tries to hold us back.  I pray that we all find that joy that has been promised to us, the joy that cannot even compare to the fleeting "happiness" so many have learned to settle for.  And in the midst of so much political unrest I pray that we do not forget the principles that made this or any other country great - it is those same principles that create strength and stability in any system: the home and family, a business, the Church, and even your own heart and mind.  Life is simple.  It's the mortal cloud that complicates everything.

Autumn

I love the raining leaves of Fall.  Orange, yellow, and red dance to the ground in a brisk breeze, leaving the trees increasingly bare.  When was the last time you allowed yourself the simple pleasure of playing in the leaves?  It echos a happy childhood I once knew and now wish to pass on to my child.  I've been teaching her to pick up arm fulls of leaves and throw them up into the air.  Her face lights up in delight as she tries to copy me.  She can't quite get it yet, but what she can do well is walk in them.  In her bare feet or in her shoes, she kicks them and stomps on them to hear their crunch.  That is until she becomes distracted by all the Halloween decor around our neighborhood.  Pumpkins, scarecrows, ghosts, witches, cats, and zombies are a source of fascination.  Spider webs are torture as she reaches to try to grab them, but can't quite make it.  She doesn't yet know what it all means, but that doesn't deter her excitement in the novelty of it all.  I love having the opportunity of sharing my love for the season.  After all, there really is nothing quite so refreshing as the soft sunlight, cool air, and beautiful colors of Autumn.